Trapped

I’m trapped.

Closed in.
Nowhere to turn.
There’s no one near me. I yearn-
For companionship.
I am deserted.
I have no home.
Those people I live with?
They aren’t my own-
Flesh and blood.
They hate me.
Despise me.
I hate them just as much.
There isn’t a soul who cares for me now.
The warm touch of love people give?
I’ve never felt it.

My life is so messed up.
My family is in dire straits.
No hope abounds in my home.
It’s not even a home. More like a place-
Of torment.
Of Anguish.
A place where pain resides.
A morgue is more comforting and-
More easy on the eyes...
Fear and paranoia appear to be my only friends.
Everyone else?
They’re gone like my self-confidence.
My feeling of self-worth.
I don’t need them anyways.
All they will do is hurt-
Me again...
I trust NO ONE…
I’m as closed as Chic-fil-a on a Sunday.

Now…I hear from friends that You Love me.
That you want for me what’s best.
And that you’d give it away for free.
No fee.
No exceptions.
No test-
I have to take.
It sounds too good to be true…
But if it isn’t? Now that’s something I’d like.
Someone that cares for me.
That looks out for me.
Loves me despite-
All the stupid things I say and do.
That gives me a clean slate.
Makes me brand new...
Someone who makes me feel like I’m worth something.
That I have a purpose.
A person that takes all my fears away and turns it-
Into something good.
I hear you can do that.
And I want it.
I want it so badly.
God, take this all away from me.
I trust that You and ONLY You can make me happy.
Everywhere I’ve looked for true love has always let me down.
I’m sick of this emptiness.
This loneliness.
I give it too You now.
Do with it what You want.
It’s Your life now not mine’s.
I know that I will no longer be lonely-
Because in You I reside...