Wow...

So… In a couple weeks I’ll be working for the Boston Red Sox... WHAT. From being homeless living on couches to working for the defending World Series Champions in under two years. I have no words for that. All I can say is thank you God for everything.

 

     I’m going to miss Lynchburg. Much more than I want to admit. Six years is a long time to spend in one place. A lot of time, emotion, money have been put into my life here, and it feels weird to just up and leave in the blink of an eye. There is so much I still want to do here! That’s life I guess.  

     I’m not going to lie to you, for a split second I hesitated saying yes to the job offer. I was scared of the unknown, and if you know me well enough, when I am afraid of something I tend to run away from it. This time it was different though. Today I was reminded, while talking to a friend, why I was put on this earth. It is to bring glory to God. Not to feel good or to be content in my surroundings.

     Now before you tune me out because I seem idiotic for insinuating this is a sacrifice let me just say this: I am absolutely, 100% terrified of large crowds of people. Especially when they all will be looking at me at some time or another. It’s not something I enjoy, but for some strange reason God has given me the ability to work well in that environment. That’s why I applied in the first place.

 

     Anyways, the reason I accepted this position was because I knew this was the best way for me to reach as many people as possible with the love of Christ. Now I won’t be proselytizing on Yawkey Way per se, but this is my chance to just love on people regardless to race, creed or orientation. The Red Sox had over 2.3 MILLION visitors last year. Chances are a few of them need Christ’s love, and I’d love to give them a glimpse of that. 

   So please say a prayer for me as I go back home. This transition won’t be easy. In fact, it will be downright stressful at times, but I was given this chance for a reason. With the strength of God lifting me up, I hope that I can maybe, possibly make a small impact in the city of Boston.

You’ve made it all the way to the end of this post! Congratulations! Taking the time to read my blog means a lot to me. I don’t have any delusions of grandeur when it comes to this. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my life.

Now here's some good music to enjoy!

"By this all people will know that you are my disciples..."

...[I]f you have love for one another."
                                                              - John 13:35, NASB

     This one verse has been going through my mind a lot lately. Is this what we are really known for now? How come that's not the case? How come love isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Christians? Does nobody see all the good Christians are doing in today's world?

     Truthfully, there are many long-winded answers to this question spanning a couple millennia so I'll spare you all that read. The fact of the matter is that modern day Christianity is NOT known for it's love for people, and, frankly, that needs to change.

    Now the point of this post isn't to try to start of "revolution of love" or "rally the troops." It's more to just reflect on what's been happening in my life lately. This verse hit me a few days ago when I was just waiting for the train to show up at the station near my house. In case you didn't know, I was given the opportunity to interview for a job with the Boston Red Sox for this upcoming season. This whole process has been a incredible adventure, and finally came to an end this past Saturday. So here I am, just sitting at a train station when it hit me, "What would it be like if I tried to show love to the people around me?" I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that not a minute later I was given an opportunity. And not thirty minutes later it happened again! And again!

    To be honest, I don't believe that once I had that thought God just decided to shower me with people who needed my help. Rather all God did was open my eyes to the people around me. It was a sobering feeling, as well as an overwhelming one. How could I have not shown love to these people yet call myself a Christian? Simply put, I couldn't. But now? The whole world looks different to me. It's refreshing, and my friends say they see a difference in me. I'm noticeably happier.

   So in short, I think the way we change this negative stigma is to just love the people around you. Everyone hurts. It's part of the human condition. But not everyone loves. Jesus Christ knew the significance of this when He gave out this commandment, and I think we as Christians should daily ask God to show us how to love the people we come into contact with that particular day.


Noel

Onward and Upward

 

    There comes a time when you put up and shut up. Where you stop the excuses and the doubting, and you just move forward. Everyone has those moments. To some it happens sooner, others later. For me? Right now is that moment.
    

    These past couple years have been filled with many treacherous lows and numerous incredible highs, yet without fail I found myself in the same place time and time again: hating myself, stressing over the next problem and doubting God's provision. I can just imagine Him looking from above gently shaking his head as he chuckled over my lack of faith.
   

    Honestly, right now I'm in a weird, semi-transitional season of my life. Kind of just floating by, making a living for myself while still holding onto the dream of furthering my education. As you can imagine, my life can (and does) change constantly, and with that change comes a lot of different issues. This has led to me finding new and creative ways to stress over every new challenge instead of embracing the new lessons I am surely going to be taught through these unique, testy circumstances.

   
   No more though.
   

    It's time for me to stop worrying and start cherishing these teachable moments. God placed them in front of me for a reason and I need to understand that. He is a wonderful, prepared orchestrator, and I have the opportunity to be used by Him for the sole purpose of bringing Him glory. I pray that I never forget that. It is the purpose of living, and the essence of why we are here.
   

    Now I realize this is easier said than done, and I'm notorious for giving up quickly. However, when I die all that I will have with me are the possessions that I will lay at Jesus feet. Whatever survives the fire is what He will receive. If that doesn't get me excited to make Him known, then I don't know what would!

Song that kinda fits:
Exile Dial Tone

Sito...

So at some point during the night it hit me.

"I should write something on my blog."

Now mind you I haven't written on here since 2010-2011, and even then that was just to put up some of my spoken word poetry out on the interwebs. Regardless, here I am. About to change the world with my views!...

Sorry, back to reality.

 (obligatory: oh there goes gravity!)

ANYWAYS. You may be thinking, "Wait, why is the blog now called 'Sito'?"

Great question. It's a long story.  In Spanish culture, the -ito ending refers to something "little." Now that doesn't necessarily refer to stature. It is often used as a sign of affection like how in English a diminutive mother calls her 6-foot tall son "her little boy."  So as you can imagine this nickname came about when I was a wee little lad. My dad's name is Noel as well (Which means, technically, I am NOT the First Noel. Sad day, I know.) so it was just natural to call me Noelsito. With that being said, when my little brother was first getting a grasp on saying actual words my parents tried very hard to get him to pronounce my name, however Jeremy decided just calling me Sito would make more sense, and the name stuck ever since.

And yes. I know. I should have been called Noelito, but we are Garcia's. Rebels to the core. Proper grammar is just another way THE MAN is trying to hold us back. Plus, Noelsito just sounds better.

So that is why I chose the name of the blog. Every single one of you reading this blog will see a personal side of me that I previously only cared to show people that I deemed close enough. For the most part I view those people as family, and only family gets to call me Sito!

I'll do my best to update this regularly. That timeframe is wicked vague, yes, but it is what it is. Here's to hoping for a good run.

Song that kinda fits this post:

We Are Family

My Poems

As you probably see, this blog will now be a site where I'll put some of my poems in (as well as some reflections). Here are some I wrote from March-August of last year. I'll probably post one bi-weekly from here on out, and I hope you enjoy them!

A Happier Me

To say that depression ruled my life-

Isn’t just an expression.
It’s a reality…
When you saw me all happy and carefree,
On the inside I felt dejected and lonely.
It was Killing me.

Constantly battling this feeling of misery and despair-
Had left me tired an unaware-
That I had people who actually did care about me.

Just imagine how it feels to be at a party-
And feel like no one knows that you’re there.
They don’t care about you or what you do.
You could scream ‘til you’re blue in the face-
And still be ignored.
That summed up my life.
I felt unnoticed.
Uncared for.
Abandoned.

The struggle to get out of bed-
The battle that ensued in my head-
About whether or not to face the world that day-
Was as real as the people I encountered in the classroom-
If I decided to even show up.

A million thoughts ran rampant in my mind.
All the time.
I just couldn’t focus on anything else.
It clouded my judgment.
It blinded my eyes.
Frustration and self-hate were free to roam-
In my skull just because I didn’t have-
The strength to pull them out-
Minute after minute-
Hour after hour-
Day after day.

I prayed constantly for God to remove the depression.
To take it all away.
To make it all okay.
To make me NORMAL-
Even for just one day.
It didn’t come…
At least not right away-
Like I Demanded of Him.

I was a mess.
I was living two separate lives-
And was miserable in both…
Vulnerable to any attacks Satan threw my way.
I gave up on happiness and decided-
This was the way God made me-
So this wasn’t going to change.
It was here to stay…

Beleaguered by depression,
I didn’t want help.
If God didn’t change me instantly-
Then who could?
But then something dawned on me.
What if God desired of me to break free-
But wanted me to take the first steps-
To show I was determined to succeed.
You see, my walk with Him was running on empty.
I spent no time with Him, yet I expected God-
To provide all my wants, hopes, and dreams-
Immediately…
It took a night of crying and opening up to my parents-
For this to finally hit me.
But when it hit me,
Boy, did I get hit!
Like a ton of bricks falling on me-
I was crushed with all these emotions and revelations-
That God was actually wit me this whole time.
I just wasn’t really looking…

Since that day, things have changed.
Not completely, but I do feel a difference-
Mainly in my attitude.
I’m still in a battle-
Only this time I know I can win.
God says with Him all things are possible.
And I believe those words are true.
My loneliness is conquerable.
My sadness is curable.
I realize I can have a relapse.
But with the Lord in my corner-
I can tell without a doubt-
That in me you’ll see progression-
Instead of regression.
And in that I can look forward-
To the creation of a happier life-
And a happier me.

My Prayer

I am a wreck.

My life is in disarray.

God, I’m looking for You-

And Only You to save me.

You tell me that You love me.

And I believe it too-

I just feel the need brewing-

In my heart and in my soul to tell You about-

This feeling to replace the old-

With something brand new.

To take away all the lies I believe.

Give me something true.

Something real.

All I’m asking for Lord is that You come through-

For me once again.

You are my Best Friend.

The only one that will be with me-

From the beginning of my life-

To the very end.

Fill me up with Your love.

Remind me of Your promises.

Keep them in my head-

For whenever I am in distress-

Heartache-

Or even Happiness-

I’ll think of them.

Father, save me from all that is killing me slowly-

Every sin that I commit-

For every time that I Spit in Your face.

I wish I could erase that from my mind-

But time after time I do it again.

I’m surprised You don’t just make me-

Fend for myself.

Thank You for Your love, Lord Jesus.

Thank You for caring for each and every one of us-

Out here on earth.

I pray that we continue to Worship You-

In Everything we say or do-

Because You are Worth it all.

I love You, Dad.

I hope You know that.

Even though I may act like a brat sometimes-

The fact of the matter is-

You’re the one that Loves me the most-

And in that fact alone-

I can’t help, but boast about You.

So Lord, please watch over me-

And continue to show Yourself in me.

Because as people have said before-

I was lame-

But now I can walk.

I was deaf-

But now I can hear.

I was blind-

But now I can see.

And I pray that you do that again-

To a big-time sinner like me.